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The Zookeeper

Posted by Sifu Vito on Nov 25, 2011 in Movies

I finally had a chance to watch this movie on DVD, and I think it’s a pretty funny movie.  The voices of the animals include Sylvester Stallone, Adam Sandler, Nick Nolte, and Bas Rutten.  Joe Rogan evan has a role in it.  I know that it’s cheesy, but I really liked it, and I think that it’s a pretty good family movie.  Let me know what you think.

Happy Thanksgiving from Elite Martial Arts

Posted by Sifu Vito on Nov 24, 2011 in Elite Martial Arts

Elite Martial Arts would like to wish all of our Students, Families, and Friends, a Very Happy Thanksgiving.

Computer Comedy

Posted by Sifu Vito on Nov 4, 2011 in Uncategorized

I’m not usually one to post jokes online, or to forward them.  However, after reading these comments; I realized that they are indicative of the world we live in.

I don’t know if these comments are true, (or embellished for the sake of comedy) but I honestly believe that they are close enough to the truth to make my point.

We live in a world where social skills, listening skills, and common sense are seriously lacking.

While I think the following comments are a sad commentary, I hope you think they are as funny as I do.

 

Computer  Tech Support

Tech  support:     What kind of computer do you have?

Female  customer:    A  black one…

===============

Customer:   Hi, this is Celine. I can’t get my disc out.
Tech support:  Have you  tried pushing the release button?
Customer:  Yes, sure; the tray comes out but there’s nothing in it.
Tech  support:  Does disc content show up on your screen?
Customer:   …Oh! …wait a  minute….. I hadn’t inserted it yet… it’s still on my desk… sorry….

===============

Tech  support:   Click on the ‘My Computer’ icon on the left of the screen.
Customer:   Your left or my left?

===============

Tech  support:   Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer:   Hello…  I can’t print.
Tech  support: Would you click on “start” for me  and…
Customer:  Listen pal, don’t start getting technical on me! I’m not Bill Gates.

===============
Customer:  Hi, good  afternoon, this is Martha, I can’t print. Every time I try, it says ‘Can’t find printer.’ I’ve even lifted the printer over and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says it can’t  find it…
============== =

Customer:  I have problems printing in red.
Tech  support:  Do you have a color printer?
Customer:   Aaaah…………………thank you.

===============

Tech  support:   What’s on your monitor now, ma’am?
Customer:   A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the carnival.
===============

Customer:    My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support:  Are you  sure it’s plugged into the computer?
Customer:  No. I can’t get  behind the computer..
Tech  support:  Pick up your keyboard and walk to the other side of the room.
Customer:   OK
Tech support:    Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer:  Yes
Tech  support:  That means the keyboard is not plugged in.  Is there another keyboard?
Customer:  Yes, there’s  another one here. Ah…that one does work.

===============

Tech support:  Your password is the small letter “a” as in apple,
a capital letter V as in Victor, and the numbers 7274.
Customer:  Is the 7274 in capital letters?

== =============
Customer:    I can’t open Yahoo calendar.
Tech support:  Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer:  Yes, I’m sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support:  Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer:  Yes… five stars.
===============

Tech support:  What  anti-virus program do you use?
Customer:   Hotmail.
Tech  support:  That’s not an anti-virus program..
Customer:   Oh, sorry… Internet Explorer.

===============

Customer:   I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my  computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

Tech support:  ….Who the he** transfered this call to me???

===============

Tech support:  How may I  help you?
Customer:  I’m writing my first e-mail.
Tech  support:  OK, and what seems to be the  problem?
Customer:  Well, I have  the letter ‘a’ in the address, but how do I get the circle around  it?
===============

A  woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech  support:  Are you running it under Windows?
Customer:   “No, my desk is next to the door, but that’s a good point. The guy sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and  his  printer is working fine.”
===============
And last but not least…

Tech  support: “Okay  Bob, let’s press the control and escape keys at the same time. That  brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now hit the  letter “P” to bring up the Program Manager.”
Customer:  I don’t have a  P.
Tech  support:  On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech  support:  “P”…..on your keyboard, Bob.

Customer: I’M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!

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About the Author

Sifu Vito is the Chief Instructor of Elite Martial Arts (located on the border of Palm Bay and Melbourne, FL). He teaches students of all ages Bruce Lee's Art of Jeet Kune Do, as well as Jun Fan Kickboxing and Gung Fu, MMA, Kali, Savate and Silat. For information about classes Click the Blue Button Above or call 321-956-2320 for faster service.

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